Posts written by Brian Moore
Wednesday, April 18 2007
Male? Horny? Tall, Skinny, or Indie? It’s Time For A Hipster Booty Call, Craiglist Style
Quickly! Now’s your chance!
Someone (more specifically a girl who lives on a Boston campus, and who calls herself “attractive”–whether or not you want to trust her is up to you) is looking for a quickie from a male on campus. How do we know this, you ask? Through the magic of Craigslist, this mystery 19-year-old girl has made a public posting asking for someone to, well, bang her. Bang her, and then make like a tree and leave.
I want someone to come here, I’ll sign them into my dorm, take them up stairs, we will have sex, then you will leave.
“Then you will leave?!” What, no cigarette? No pillow talk? How are we supposed to form a relationship this way? You, mystery girl, have forgotten the kind of emotions most Emerson guys have. We’re sensitive! We need cuddling and positive reinforcement!
She goes into more detail of what she’s looking for:
you need to be safe,and clean
goodlooking ( send me a picture of your face not your genitals)
youngish - look under 25 because if someone sees us I don’t want this too look shady
intelligent
nice, or atleast curtious
enjoy foreplaybonus
if you are tall, thin, a hipster or indie guy, a college student and definitely an Emerson Student.
I am great in bed and attractive.
I’ve already got a girlfriend, so those of you who don’t– take advantage of this one-of-a-kind offer and jump on it! Errr, come forward! Ugh. Make your move?
Nevermind. Just go and get yourself some free action. Here’s the listing mystery girl brought it down… here’s a screenshot, and here’s the Facebook group that’s spawned. And, when you’re… finished, be sure to get back to us. We have news to report.
Tuesday, April 3 2007
As Paul Puts It: New Year’s Eve 1879
Well, the time has come to put up photos of the most amazing party that has ever graced the general Boston area. Thanks to everybody who came, and I’m sorry to those who don’t look as pretty as you’d want to in these pictures. To those who don’t care: enjoy! If for some reason you see something you want off, please, let me know. Meanwhile, an entire collection of the images can be seen on Flickr. Click on any of the images to get them larger on their photo pages.
Quite the party, eh?
Wednesday, March 28 2007
How To: Print on Campus Anywhere, Anytime
So simple, even cats can do it!
It’s happened to the best of us. Mid-printing your fifteenth copy of your paper, your ink cartridge that’s been warning you for half a year about its sorry state dies and you’re left with unreadable, streaked pages.
Little do most students know that even though you’re not on a lab computer, as long as you’re on campus, you can print to almost any print station throughout the campus. From the Library to the Ansin labs, all can be accessed from your laptop or dorm desktop. This can be a huge help for time-crunched students. But, make sure you’re going to be by the printer soon. From the Emerson Labs page:
Please note that print jobs will only be available at the Print Release Stations for two hours after they are sent to the printer. For this reason, we suggest to print to a printer that is geographically convenient to you. Also, some computer labs host classes during the day. To avoid disturbing a class, we suggest printing to the following open access facilities:
- XML
- Advanced Projects Lab (APL)
- Tufte Lab
- IT Help Desk Print Kiosks
- 150 Boylston Print Kiosks
- Emerson College Library
To get the ability to print to these stations, all that’s needed is a simple download.
Download: for Mac, for Windows (browse down to “For Windows XP,” where you can pick where you’d like to print).
Good luck!
Photo courtesy of Flickr user thejulietflies under Creative Commons.
Thursday, March 22 2007
Learn From Stephanie: Watch Yo’ Shit in the Library!
Cubbies are more dangerous than they look
During the peak times of the school year (I’m thinking along the lines of mid- and end-of-semester), it can be pretty hard to find a seat in Emerson’s library, especially if you”re eyeing those little single-person cubbies hugging the walls. After what seems like an eternity, you”ve found a vacancy, and you must act like the studying beast you are, marking your territory by dropping your things onto the desktop. Then, when you have to get up to get a book, you have to leave the desk you worked so hard to obtain. Of course, the most logical thing to do is to leave your stuff behind to make sure nobody takes your seat.
Well, Emerson Junior Stephanie Appell did just that, leaving her cubby for 15 minutes, and when she returned, someone had not taken her seat, but $3000 worth of her stuff. This includes Stephanie’s PowerBook, brand-new iPod, and week-old cell phone. This is what she had to say:
It is looking increasingly like whoever did this was not a member of the Emerson community, by which I mean an “outside job,” someone who knew what they were doing, knew to dress like a student, come into the library before six o’clock, and just wait for an opportunity to present itself. The objects taken vs. the objects left behind indicate that they were efficient and interested only in items of value. The fact that my wallet ended up in the garbage can on the corner of Boylston and Tremont is probably due to the fact that it only had $15 in it. There are other factors, too, but I’ll leave it at that.
Stephanie’s LiveJournal Post
Monday, March 19 2007
How to Keep Your Quickies Quick… and Safe
It’s just that simple
If you’ve ever used condoms for protection before, you very well might know how annoying they can be sometimes. While the mood’s still hot, you gotta rip open the packaging, take the condom out, make sure it’s facing the right way, and follow all sorts of other steps to make sure you’re not going to be babymakin’ (or spreading disease– that’s right, kids! Stay safe!). Well, there’s something coming (no pun intended) that will get you all wrapped up in a jiffy.
That’s right! No more feeling like you have to complete a jigsaw puzzle before you do the nasty. These crazy technologically-advanced condoms need just two snaps, a pull, and you’re set. Created by company Pronto, this incredible work of ingenuity won Most Beautiful Object in South Africa by the Dutch designer Jurgen Bey (as seen here). Plus, all-in-all, it helps to fight the AIDS epidemic in Africa. No doubt it deserves such a prestigious award. There’s a full description on their website (including a wonderful pun within the first line):
Let’s face it, using an ordinary condom is a real pain in the butt. First, you have to tear the pack open, often using your teeth. Then you have to take the condom out of the pack – this is a slippery business at the best of times. Next, you have to figure out which is the right side up, before you can unroll it. By the time the condom’s on, the mood is halfway out the window…Fortunately, those days are over. Introducing PRONTO, the condom for the new millennium. The PRONTO condom can be applied in a few seconds. And it’s a lot more convenient to use, compared to an ordinary condom. You simply crack the pack open and unroll the condom directly onto the penis.
Sure, this sounds cool, but I’m sure you want to see this thing in action. Well, click the read more link to see a quick video and its availability.
WARNING: This video, featuring a black dildo stand-in, could be thought to be Not Safe For Work! Just letting you know!
Wednesday, March 14 2007
Brown Eyed Girl Meets a Blue Eyed LIAR
Bono? Oh, no. Think again.
With nice weather this past weekend, you Emerson students arriving back in Boston after spring break were no doubt spending a good amount of time outside. Good weather might’ve not been your only luck– you could have been one of the lucky few to see U2’s Bono walking around Boston. He was spotted saying hello to Bostonians in the East and the South; but was it really such a beautiful day?
Sorry to burst your bubbles, U2 fans, but this sweetest thing was too good to be true. But don’t feel bad– you weren’t the only one who was tricked. Actually, even The Boston Herald was fooled:
Bono has been bopping around Boston for the past couple of days, acting like a regular tourist on holiday and surprising the heck out of a lot of locals who have had close encounters with the U2 frontman.
“He couldn’t have been nicer,” said one barfly who ran into the Irish rocker at the Beantown Pub on Thursday night. “He was just in there having a pint, but when word got around, the girls were like three deep.”
Yesterday Bono grabbed eggs and coffee at Donna’s Restaurant in East Boston after he told his driver he was hungry and the chauffeur suggested the neighborhood joint.
From The Boston Herald
Tuesday, March 13 2007
99 Pink Thongs On Your Wall: The Deal With Facebook Gifts
A limited edition Facebook gift
About three weeks ago, I stumbled upon Facebook’s newest feature: something they call “Gifts.” No, Facebook isn’t sending things to peoples’ houses– they’re virtual gifts, designed by Mac icon legend Susan Kare. From a cup of coffee to a birthday cake to a pink thong, these digital presents can be given to friends or colleagues, which will then be viewable on their walls post-giftgiving. What’s surprised most Facebookers is not the selection of gifts, but the charge incurred upon giving them. While the first gift you can give is free, from then on they cost a dollar. Facebook is attempting to inflate the demand by including “availability” where certain gifts can only be given a certain amount of times (100,000-one mil) before they’re retired (Beanie Babies, anybody?).
Now, most college kids are thinking, “what the hell?! Why would I ever pay a dollar for a tiny image of something on someone’s wall?” They may be reluctant to pull out their credit cards, but the idea of virtual gifts is not a new one.
Monday, March 12 2007
Drink Your Sorrows Away… For Less!
Cisco’s robust flavor has many fans
throughout the globe
If you’re looking to get trashed on a budget, look no further. The website Bum Wines has all you need about the five most popular bum wines available: Cisco, MD 20/20, Night Train, Thunderbird, and Wild Irish Rose, none of them individually breaking the amount of three dollars per bottle. Of course, out of all five, I’d have to say Cisco looks and sounds the tastiest. From the site:
[Cisco is] known as “liquid crack,” for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine. The label insists that the ingredients are merely “citrus wine & grape wine with artificial flavor & artificial color,” but anyone who has tried it knows better.
