The 1880

This girl has never been to Africa.

I adore my sister. Some might say I even love her. Those people would be correct. She is a beautiful southern belle ballerina who often resembles a Disney romantic movie musical ingénue. I swear I have actually seen birds gently float onto her arms and join in her jovial singing. I was on the phone with her recently and I brought up the fact that I might join the Peace Corps after college. She, being the older and wiser one, decided to dispense some advice on how to deal with being in the Peace Corps in Africa.

1. Own a Brita water filter.
At first she told me to always have Fiji bottled water, but when I told her that one’s assignment lasted well over a year she suggested a Brita water filter. I thought this was remotely practical. Even if I was in the middle of a third world village, plagued with dysentery, at least I would have fresh clean water. Though, I don’t know if I want to be known as “that prissy white girl with a Brita.”

2. Know where you’re poop hole is.
This caused some confusion in the conversation. I thought she meant physiologically and I told her that I had found that part pretty early in life and would be okay in that aspect. She then informed me that she meant geographically. And, you know what, I think it is a good idea to know where the facilities are.

3. Live upwind of as much as you can.
This pertains well to number 2. And according to her, Africa is smelly.

4. Always have someone send you fancy crowns on New Years Eve, Mardi Gras beads in March, and Valentines Day candy.
I think this suggestion was meant to help me keep connected to home while away. It might say more about my sister’s view on what constitutes as important American holidays than anything else.

5. Jesus shoes.
This was all she said when I asked what I should wear while in Africa. I assumed that she meant sandals. In fact she meant Birkenstocks.

6. Be nice. Be peaceful.
I also thought this was a good idea since I would be in Peace Corps.

7. You need a medium sized, sharp knife.
This seemed to contradict the previous advice she had just given me. She told me that a knife will be useful in many ways. For one, you can kill your food with it. Also, apparently one of her friend’s family members got stabbed in Africa so it would be good if you find yourself in a knife fight.

8. I don’t know. (lots of giggling)
This was her answer to “What shots will I need before I go.”

Well, I hope this helps anyone else thinking about joining the Peace Corps and shipping off to Africa. I know it was enlightening to me.

I want to give special thanks to my lovely and brilliant sister.