The 1880

Uhhh... Wha?

Have you ever had trouble with the T? You know, shuttles on the Blue line, slow trains on the Green line, delays due to icy tracks, etc? When you first arrived here, did you ever get on the wrong outbound Green line train accidentally? Well, next time something bad happens, just thank your lucky stars you’re not in New York.

I, like many others, had previously been under the impression that the New York subway was glorious, efficient, and convenient. I was proven hopelessly wrong on one fateful evening.

My girlfriend, Grace, and I were on our way back to Boston from DC after break. We elected to take Chinatown buses to cut down on expenses. After taking a bus from DC to NYC, we found (much to our dismay) that the last bus to Boston had already left. We were, officially, stranded in New York City with about 800 pounds of bags. After walking to a Popeye’s that was open late, at about 12:00 am, we decided to call my friend Marissa. She was the only person we knew in town, and she very graciously let us come over to wait out the 8:00 am bus. (Thanks again, Marissa!) There was only one small problem: we were on Canal Street, in Chinatown; Marissa lives in Astoria, way at the end of the N/W lines. No big deal, right? Just hop on the subway at Canal street, get an N or W train, and ride it to the end. Piece of cake, eh?

Well, as we would soon find out, not really. See, the New York Subway system is bogglingly large. Unlike most subways, it is organized by letter, number, color, AND shape. If that wasn’t enough, All of those things change depending on the time of day and day of the week. Also, the names of stops are not distinct - for example, there are THREE Canal Street stops, all in close vicinity to each other. (Yes, there are “St. Paul’s St” stops on both the B and C lines, but it’s understood that on those lines the stops are named after cross-streets of Commonweath and Beacon, respectively.)

Upon entering the station, we discovered the turnstiles are almost impossible to enter with bags. They look like something from a high-security prison. I know they used to have problems with turnstile jumping in the past, but COME ON. I was almost trapped in one when my bag wouldn’t fit through. Thankfully, a nice man came to help us. Jeesh.

In any case, after much deliberation, we figured out we needed an N train. The N and W trains run on the same line. Normally, the N train is an express, stopping at only major stops, while the W stops at local stops. During late nights, however, the W train “stops running.” The N train then starts going to local stops, and goes to the W platform rather than the N platform. Does this make ANY sense? Why the HELL don’t they just call it the W train? It goes to the same stops and comes on the same platform!

After waiting at least 30 minutes, we boarded an N train. We thought all was well, until about halfway through the trip, when the driver came on the PA. He explained that we all had to go back to 42nd St/Times Square and get on a 7 train, take that to Queensboro Plaza, and then get back on the N train there. You see, apparently there was construction up ahead that even the driver didn’t know about until there was SHIT BLOCKING HIS PATH! No signs anywhere, nothing. At this point, the train driver simply started backing up the train. ON THE SAME TRACKS. FOR TWO STOPS!

Upon getting to Times Square, we dragged our bags all over the station to the 7 train platform (the stations are horribly designed - you very often have to go up stairs, then down again, then up again.) When we finally got there, there were a disproportionate number of people there for 1:30 or so in the morning. There were also MTA workers hosing the whole place down. See, apparently the 7 train usually stops running during late nights, so they had chosen that moment to hose everything down, because no one was supposed to be there. Unfortunately, about a hundred people were, all because of the aforementioned mishap. The MTA workers, however, saw no problem with continuing as normal, accidentally spraying people left and right while constantly screaming at them to “mind the hose!”

It took a long time for the 7 train to come. When it finally did, everyone boarded, and the doors closed. Then, nothing. For a good 15-20 minutes, we all sat there, waiting for the train to move. The doors didn’t open. We were essentially trapped.

After the train finally started moving, we had to go several stops to Queensboro Plaza, transfer, and then go the rest of the way on the N. The same requisite shitty waiting times and slow trains accompanied us along our whole journey. When we finally got to Marissa’s place, it was 2:30 am. That’s 2 1/2 hours. Unacceptable.

So, now you know. All those New Yorkers who complain about the T and tell you the MTA is so much better are INSANE. The MTA is confusing, unreliable, and poorly designed. About the only things it has going for it are that it’s clean, and runs 24 hours a day. (I know, that’s pretty nice.)