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I have never been good with what some people like to call “fiscal responsibility.” My mother frequently has to ask me whether or not I have reconciled my checkbook recently, and my usual response is “I thought we reconciled back when we were Catholic? Oh, no that was repent. Close,” (My mother also happens to be an investment banker, responsible for not only her own money but a few hundred other people’s. I cannot fathom). To compound this, I have usually held jobs which paid less per hour than your average tweeny-bopper babysitter. I had to– I was too fucking busy in high school for any real employment. Consequently, I had a few run-ins with my bank known as “overdrafts,” or “all the little minuses are more than the little pluses.” Getting to college has only made this worse. Now, there are no little pluses on my bank statement, save for a monthly interest deposit of, oh, say, four cents or so. I managed to save quite a bit before I embarked on this adventure, and was doing pretty well…until now.
I realized yesterday I needed to pay my credit card bill, whose monthly minimum is $10.00. I opened my checking account online to find a balance of…$11.56. Not cool. So I had to call my mom, who has been much more understanding of circumstances now that her baby lives in a big scary city so far from home (God bless maternal instinct). She graciously “loaned” me some money to get me through the rest of the semester. Now, while I’m sure you’re enthralled about my spending antics, you’re probably wondering why the hell you’re supposed to care about the fact that I haven’t got a dime to my name anymore. It’s important because I have learned life lesson #486: sometimes, you have to learn to be a cheap bastard.
As with all new philosophies, I needed a guide, a text, some new bible prototype to teach me the ways of the frugal gods. I found it, courtesty of the lovely Mrs. Mitchell, mother of my good friend Sara, first name regrettably unknown. Being the brilliant woman she must be, she sent my dear Sara a copy of “The Cheap Bastard’s Guide to Boston” by Kris Frieswick. I read little more than the table of contents and immediate threw up my hands in what could only be called “interperative worship.” Holy (free) shit.
This book has everything you could possibly want to do in Boston, either free or next to it. It also has some suprising opportunities, such as places where you can do volunteer work on location to get free or deeply discounted access to their services or amenities. The books is separted into sections, and then further within those section. It starts with entertainment, an essential for any Boston Collegiate. (There are more entertaining things than a guitar-hero marathon) Music, theatre (check out volunteer ushering to get into some great shows), dance, comedy, film, and readings are all sections–this book covers everything. There are the more practical uses of freeloading as well. The Living in Boston section houses tips on free or cheap food, haircuts, clothing, medical care (like STD testing, kiddies!) and much more. Lastly, there is an Exploring Boston section with everything from getting around to finding “cut-rate culture” as they call it. It’s perfect for when your friends insist on visiting the weekend you’re flat broke. Unless they’re total assholes they’ll probably appreciate saving their money too, for those more…illustrious aspects of the trip. The kind you can only use cash for…or need a red plastic cup for…and don’t use until after 11:00 p.m.
Easily read, wonderfully organized, witty, and impeccably understanding of the “I spent all my money on books and beer” plight, “The Cheap Bastards Guide to Boston” is a great resource for those wishing to getting familiar with everything our lovely city has to offer. . .as long as you don’t pay much for it.
(I would like to point out that there happens to be a section on trash-picking, it’s etiquette, and the schedules of all Boston area trash pickups. The woman is thorough. Enjoy!)