Weblog
The author of this guest article, Stephanie Appell, is a junior WLP major. She has also been called a feminist after expressing sentiments that differentiate her from a doormat, but hipster indie guys aren’t really her type. You can contact her at stephanie_appell@emerson.edu.
By now, either by word of mouth or by reading an article in this very blog, many of us have heard about the nineteen-year-old self-professed “college girl going crazy with sexual frustration.” We’ve seen, been invited to, or even joined the Facebook group it triggered. We may have even speculated with our friends as to the identity of this mystery girl. But in the interest of balance, I’d like to present an alternative view on these happenings. I think I’ll begin with a few statistics.
First, according to a study recently released by eMarketer, there are more women online than men, and they tend to use the Internet for social networking and task-oriented activities rather than as a diversion or for pure entertainment. According to the report, “females, especially adult women, are more likely to use the Internet to get things done, rather than to have fun.”
As of this moment, the aforementioned Facebook group has thirty-six members; 72% (twenty-six) of them, including the group’s creator, are male. Expanded to include the number of people invited to join the group but who haven’t yet responded, the number of total potential members increases to fifty-six, yet the percent of male members (no pun intended) remains the same.
Finally, on the Boston Craigslist Casual Encounters section, where the ad was originally posted, there are presently 4,288 results for the keyword search “m4w” (a man seeking a woman), but only 195 results for a “w4m” search (a woman seeking a man). The gender gap on the part of posters seems to hold up regardless of with whom, exactly, they’d like to have a casual encounter: There are 1,459 “m4m” results and only 152 “w4w.”
So. There are more women online than men, and they like to use the Internet for communication and to accomplish everyday tasks. Yet it appears that, for some reason, there are more men soliciting casual sexual encounters online than women - at least on Boston’s Craigslist. And the overwhelming majority of members of a Facebook group designed to at least ridicule (judging by the group’s profile picture) and at worst initiate a “hunt” to publicly humiliate a young woman who did use the Internet in search of a casual sexual encounter are male.
A few disclaimers: Yes, Craigslist is a public site. No, the Facebook group doesn’t violate Facebook’s Terms of Use. Yes, it’s actually unclear from the ad whether the poster is an Emerson student or is merely looking for a “tall, thin, hipster or indie guy” and has put two and two together and noticed that a lot of those guys seem to congregate outside Emerson’s buildings.
But now I’d like to ask you to use your imagination and be a little honest with yourself. Imagine that you’re sitting in your dorm, alone. It’s been a while since you’ve had some, and I don’t think I need to spell out what I mean there. Maybe you and your boyfriend broke up over break. Maybe you haven’t had a boyfriend since high school, because, let’s face it, the odds are against straight girls at Emerson. It’s the second-to-last week of classes, you’ve got papers, projects, and performances up to your eyeballs, and maybe you’d use the word “horny” or maybe you’d use the word “lonely,” but either way, you found your apartment on Craigslist and it’s pretty great, so you figure, why not? The worst thing that’ll happen is e-mails of genitalia, right?
Now imagine yourself two days later. Maybe you’ve had to sift through some of those e-mailed genitalia. Maybe by some divine act you received a letter from a normal human being. Maybe you’ve even talked to him online, met him in person, had your casual encounter - or are simply planning to do any or all of those things. But then maybe you’ve stumbled onto the “On the Hunt” Facebook group. Maybe you’ve looked at the list of members and seen people you know or are even friends with. Maybe you’re planning to reveal yourself as I write this post: “YES! I made that post! I was going crazy with sexual frustration! I am attractive and great in bed! And I don’t care who knows it! Free and safe love for everyone!” Maybe I’m worried about nothing at all.
But maybe you’re sitting in your dorm, terrified and secretly humiliated and unable to tell anyone for fear of being “hunted.” Maybe you’ve decided that your post was definitely the worst idea you’ve had in a long time, and that you’re certainly never going to do anything like it again, and actually, the next time you feel like being honest about anything regarding your sexuality, you’re going to remember this incident and keep your mouth shut.
Maybe the reaction to your post is just a coincidence. But maybe it’s still not acceptable - even at a school as decidedly liberal as Emerson - for women to profess the same sexual needs and desires as men, and to seek the same answers to those needs and desires as men. Maybe the Facebook group’s profile picture needs to be changed for accuracy, rather than sensitivity. Maybe the group’s administrators should change it to a glaring red letter S, to stand for a nasty word I thought we’d all left behind in high school.