The 1880

Quickly! Now’s your chance!

Someone (more specifically a girl who lives on a Boston campus, and who calls herself “attractive”–whether or not you want to trust her is up to you) is looking for a quickie from a male on campus. How do we know this, you ask? Through the magic of Craigslist, this mystery 19-year-old girl has made a public posting asking for someone to, well, bang her. Bang her, and then make like a tree and leave.

I want someone to come here, I’ll sign them into my dorm, take them up stairs, we will have sex, then you will leave.

“Then you will leave?!” What, no cigarette? No pillow talk? How are we supposed to form a relationship this way? You, mystery girl, have forgotten the kind of emotions most Emerson guys have. We’re sensitive! We need cuddling and positive reinforcement!

She goes into more detail of what she’s looking for:

you need to be safe,and clean
goodlooking ( send me a picture of your face not your genitals)
youngish - look under 25 because if someone sees us I don’t want this too look shady
intelligent
nice, or atleast curtious
enjoy foreplay

bonus

if you are tall, thin, a hipster or indie guy, a college student and definitely an Emerson Student.

I am great in bed and attractive.

I’ve already got a girlfriend, so those of you who don’t– take advantage of this one-of-a-kind offer and jump on it! Errr, come forward! Ugh. Make your move?

Nevermind. Just go and get yourself some free action. Here’s the listing mystery girl brought it down… here’s a screenshot, and here’s the Facebook group that’s spawned. And, when you’re… finished, be sure to get back to us. We have news to report.